300WP: Hotels

 

Write about a memorable experience you  had staying at a hotel. 

I had just started working for a major corporation in my hometown and my new team was having a big meeting in Miami. I was so excited to see South Beach and check out the salsa scene.

We stayed at the nicest hotel I’ve ever stayed in: right on the beach with huge rooms and beds, an enormous bathroom, very fancy products on the vanity. There was also a very famous pop star staying at the hotel, so I knew this was a posh place. The country mouse in the city, as it were.

The first night we were there, my boss had a poolside reception for the group we had assembled. She handed me her corporate credit card and told me to open a tab. I went to the bar, which was super-swanky and beautiful. I was gazing around, waiting for the bartenders to help me.

I heard a guy next to me ask for six glasses of Sambuca and a draft beer. The bartender gave him an odd look: not many people in this part of the world order Sambuca. It’s an anise-flavored liqueur and something of an acquired taste. And the guy says, “Yeah, I don’t know, they’re British. They like Sambuca. I think it’s disgusting.”

The way he said it, so smug and like he was trying to impress this bartender, made me want to see what this jerk looked like. He was standing directly next to me, wearing a nice suit. Sort of a Midwestern heftiness to him, sandy hair.

He saw me and said, “Oh, are you like, English or something? You like Sambuca?”

I said, in a perfect London accent, “What did you say?”

He paled. “Oh, so…you’re British? I mean, I just never met anyone who liked this stuff.”

I said, in my cool accent, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I happen to like Sambuca.”

At this point, the bartender is smothering laughter and this guy is backpeddling as fast as he can.

I finally broke into a grin and said in my regular voice, “Nah, man, I’m just  messing with you. I’m from Kentucky.”

His face went totally blank. “So you’re…you’re not…”

“I’m not English. I was just messing with you.”

He smoothed his tie, turned, and left. Didn’t take the tray of glasses the bartender had prepared. Or his wallet.

I consider this my first real improv experience with the Yes, and… technique.

300WP: An interesting date

low-poly-heart

Continuing my exercise of using the 300 Writing Prompts book, I randomly opened to a perfect prompt for today:

Write about an interesting date you have been on, good or bad

I did Match.com for a while, after my boyfriend lost his damn mind and moved to Florida without me and we broke up (Spoiler: he’s my husband now, and we are in our twelfth year of marriage). And the majority of my weird dates were then.

Mostly they were just a little awkward. One guy looked fantastic on paper. Well-traveled, had a good job, family lived all over the world. But the date ended up being like sitting in a sales pitch for a time-share. He kept doing that thing salesmen do where they use your name repeatedly. “See, Sara, I’m a real entrepreneur. I have this business I’ve built up and you know, Sara, it’s just great. Sara, do you have a job you love?”

If you know me, you know I’m prone to stupid puns and dry one-liners. This guy was totally immune to my puns and wit. I would say something I thought was kind of funny and he would pause, look at me blankly, then continue whatever he was saying.

Sense of humor is like, number one in my book of Important Things, and this guy was not scoring well. This is going to sound completely sexist, but he didn’t ask if he could walk me to my car or anything. I think he might have actually shaken my hand before he marched off to his own car.

I went on a second date with a different Match.com guy and it was after a really long day at work. I was tired, but still looking forward to the evening. But literally every 15 mintues he would ask me, “Are you okay?” I kept saying, “I had a really long day at work, I’m just tired, but I’m good.” It got really annoying after the first nine times he asked…

My first date with the above-mentioned boyfriend/now husband was interesting. He picked me up after he got off work and we ended up at a cool restaurant in a cool part of town. Things were really going well and he totally laughed at my stupid puns and dry one-liners. We were too late to catch a 7:30 movie but in our movie discussions, he brought up Silence of the Lambs, which I had never seen.

We ended up renting Silence of the Lambs on our first date.

But I didn’t really watch the movie, and not for the reasons you think. He sat on the far end of the couch and didn’t say a word. Didn’t look over to see if I was totally freaked out, no physical contact or anything. I assumed he was just not that into me.

Turns out, he just thought it was a really good movie. He gave me a DVD of it some years later as a gift.