Bats in my belfry


I love bats. In my last house, I had a bunch of bat-themed stuff in the first floor half bath. I called it the batroom. (Ha.)

Two nights ago, I was in the middle of an oddly boring dream. Then some lightning started (in the dream) and thumping. But it was a dream so…par for the course right? But what jolted me out of my slumber was a very insistent THUMP, a BANG, and a lot of cursing.

The lightning was my husband’s flashlight. The thumping was him trying to get out of the way of a swooping bat as it soared into our bedroom.

“WHAT IS GOING ON?” I demanded.

“Uh…there’s a bat in the house…”

I put on my glasses. Sure enough, there was a little fluttery shape flying in circles around our ceiling fan. (We turned off the fan.)

I got up and put on a robe, because I am a sensible person. Husband, however, chose to deal with the intruder the same way he came into this world: naked and waving his arms around.

We got wee Batman to fly into the hall and then rest on the doorjamb of Thing 1 and 2’s room. Poor thing. But cute as could be. And no white nose, so that’s good. I got a towel and tried to gather him into it, but he took off and spent the next five minutes swooping up and down the stairwell.

Husband got a broom and opened the front door.

Me: Why are you turning on all the lights?

Him: I don’t know! I don’t know what to do!

Me: Turn the lights off, you don’t have any clothes on.

Him: Sara, it’s 4 a.m…..

Batman landed on a picture frame hanging on the wall. I gently laid the towel on him and he gave a tiny squeak.

Me: Crap. Did I hurt him? Why do you keep ducking? He’s not going to hit you.

Husband: I know, it’s just a reflex.

I stuck the broom up in the air, hoping Batman would land on it and I could launch him safely off the porch. Gently, bit by bit, we herded him right out the front door and back into the night.

Me: Thank god nobody is awake, you gave quite a show… This is why you need to have a bathrobe.

Husband: I’m going back to bed.

I’m not surprised we had a chiropteroid visitor. It’s an old house. I’m sure we’ll have more.


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