Pitch Wars pew pew pew

This is about Pitch Wars. Read more about the contest here.

I woke up at 5 a.m. this morning and this happened:

A baby is sad. Why is baby sad? Baby will calm down. Probably.

What time is it? 5 a.m. is too early for sadbaby. He’ll settle down in a minute.

Oh, I have an email. MUST CHECK THE EMAIL. It’s from one of the Pitch Wars mentors telling me she’s not choosing me to be a PitchWar mentee and there’s a bunch of stuff about how she hates me and thinks I’m fat.

(Ok, not really but that’s what I interpreted in my brain because that’s how my brain works.)

Clearly I suck and will never be published because I keep writing weird unpublishable quirky books that nobody will ever want to read, let alone pay for to read so I’ll just QUIT. Yes, I will QUIT.

Ok, so Baby is not sad anymore. I should go back to sleep like Baby.


Can’t sleep.

Get up, watch Dr. Who and contemplate suckiness as writer. Consider career as professional seat-sitter or floor-stander because I can do those LIKE A BOSS.

Get another email from another mentor saying she’s declining me as a mentor, too, with reasons about why but it’s pretty vague so…whatever I’m quitting anyway so it doesn’t matter. Assume Mentors three and four will also tell me I suck.

Consume cold pizza in manner of grumpy college student.

Have conversation with Husband as he’s ironing scrubs about situation and after reassuring in Husbandly fashion, suggests self-publishing the weird unpublishable books. Halfhearted grumble about why I probably won’t do that but I might but whatever. I’m quitting writing so WHO CARES.

Wallow in self-pity and watch half of Dr. Who and check email again. Twitter has blown up over Pitch Wars mentor/mentee list. Oh…wow…I’m an alternate?

Ok. That’s cool. I can deal with that. There were a thousand submissions, right? All right. Well, maybe I won’t quit. Yet.

Consider stalking Mentor’s First Pick in way that encourages First Pick to drop out of contest and go somewhere else because CLEARLY I need Mentor’s help more than First Pick.

Ok, no. I’m not going to do that for reals.

I kinda feel like this inside:


A little bit.

(Seriously, thanks to Brenda Drake for arranging this whole situation and to all the mentors for their time and effort. Good luck to all y’all!)


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