Spider gets Schooled

So I went to traffic school yesterday.

For this speeding ticket I got in April (May?). I wrote a little about it here.

I had never been to traffic school. I generally like school and learning things.

I got to the appointed place and wandered into a dim room full of chairs and other scofflaws. As I made my way across the room to find a seat, I noticed this guy totally giving me the up-and-down appraisal. Seriously?? It’s TRAFFIC SCHOOL. Not singles night. Yes, the lights are low (WtF – why is this room so dim??) but again – TRAFFIC. SCHOOL.

I found a seat and began to play Words with Friends because I didn’t want to make eye contact with anybody after the Mr. Googly Eyes encounter. Soon the teacher came in, turned on the actual lights, and I realized that my friend E. was in there, too. How nice to see a friendly face! She moved over next to me and was glad too – she was between Googly Eyes and another guy in a Star Wars shirt who were very interested in sitting as close to E. as possible. (This happens when you are E. – she is tall and slender and has very pretty red hair and people like to be her friend. Also, men like to sit very close to her sometimes.)

Here’s what I will say about traffic school:

1. The teacher was pretty engaging and tried to be interesting.

2. The videos were the most effective part of the class, including this one, which I think is just beautiful. – you might’ve seen it already. There was also this which is hard to watch, but if you’re thinking of texting and driving…you might think differently after watching.

3. If you, like Mr. Googly Eyes and Star Wars Shirtman, think that traffic school is a good place to pick up girls…I suggest you rethink your life. Like, hard. Like, go get counseling.

4. On my way in, I heard this woman yelling at her kid as they were getting out of their van. “IT IS NOT OKAY. ITS NOT GOING TO BE OKAY.” Mom ended up in traffic school with me, and then…she nearly collided with me on the way out of the parking lot because she wasn’t looking where she was going. I wonder if the teacher’s discussion on road rage and how if you are a rager, you will raise ragers, made any impression on this lady.

5. Please let me never have to do this again.

The End.


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