This is NUTS

I adore peanut butter. Until my dermatologist suggested I lay off foods with nickel in them on account of my crazy skin allergies, I ate peanut butter every. Single. Day. About the time I hit high school, we’d switch from Jif (Choosy moms choose Jif!) to our grocery store’s natural peanut butter. Actually, the health food section of the grocery had a fresh orange juice squeezer and a peanut smoosher so you could get fresh juice and peanut butter made for you ON THE SPOT, but my dad got into the Kroger brand natural peanut butter. Ingredients? Peanuts and salt. Now, I really can’t eat stuff like Jif or Peter Pan because it tastes like sugar and chemicals to me.

Now, I know you’re like, “OMG, Writing Spider, but the natural stuff is all like…oily on top and sludgy on the bottom!” Right. Store the jar upside down, k? It works.  

A few weeks ago (in possibly August), I bought a jar of Meijer Organics Crunchy Peanut Butter. It was the cheapest natural peanut butter. Ingredients? DRY-ROASTED ORGANIC PEANUTS, ORGANIC PALM OIL, PURE CANE SUGAR, SEA SALT.

The jar is almost empty though the whole time I’ve been working on it, I’ve thought, “This tastes sort of weird…” but I couldn’t put a finger on why.

Two weeks ago, I happened to notice that it’s expired. How expired? BEST BY JAN 30 11. Ok, whatever. How can this be bad?

So fast-forward to today. I’m zoning out, staring at the peanut butter and I read this:

THIS PEANUT BUTTER IS PRODUCED IN A FACILITY THAT CONTAINS: TREE NUTS (ALL VARIETIES), SEEDS (SUNFLOWER SEEDS, PUMPKIN SEEDS), SULFITES (DRIED FRUITS), AND DAIRY (SMARTIES USED AS AN INGREDIENT IN TRAIL MIXES.”

 REFRIGERATE AFTER OPENING

 So many questions….

  1. Who the heck puts Smarties in their trail mix??
  2. Smarties have dairy in them??
  3. Why am I refrigerating it?
  4. Will eating expired nonrefrigerated peanut butter kill you? My guess is no…
  5. DAIRY in SMARTIES in TRAIL MIX? What the WHAT??

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