The Theater of the Absurd

It was too good to last!

I overslept this morning. Actually, the alarm went off, I reset it, went back to sleep, it went off and I turned it off, thinking, “Ok, I’ll get up.” And and hour and half later….

Husband goes, “No wonder you’re so tired after all that commotion last night.”

Thug Life?

No, it’s

(DRAMATICAL PAUSE)

THE RETURN OF THE SCREAMY TEENAGERS!

You may remember TST in such TWS classics as Runner Up for the Worst Neighbor of the Year and recently Open Letter to Thug Life.  They debuted here in a post that I now see as SO NAIVE.  And now they return for a sizzling summer season!

For those who aren’t in the know – The Screamy Teenagers are not actual teenagers, chronologically speaking. They’re in their early 20’s. She’s the daughter of the man who owns the condo and the guy is her boyfriend. They all live there in the condo.

During the time they’ve lived there, she’s been arrested after her aunt called the police to arrest  her boyfriend. After they arrested the Screamy Teenage girl, one of the police officers gave her father a royal dressing down for not handling his daughter more effectively and letting her run the household. Screamy Teenage boy has stormed out of the house, been kicked out of the house, been ordered out of the house, then ordered back in the house.

If you took all the teenage angst in the world for the last two thousand years and condensed it, like a black hole of teen angst, that’s what lives next door.

They’re only “on” at weird times – usually times ending with “a.m.” As in, ‘ante meridian.’ As in, ‘AnytiMe I AM AsleepiM’.

This morning’s show started around 3 a.m. I know this because I was asleep, inside a house, with the air conditioner on. And they woke me up. The general gist of the performance starts in the house, then as he attempts to get away from her, it spills into the parking lot of the condo complex.

It’s a tremendous performance from both parties. He’s subtle and smoldering and she’s a volocano of emotional malaise. This was the first time she showed off her physicality as she flung herself on the ground in petulant huffs. They ranged from driveway to parking lot to patio. The script is typically the same. She screams/growls some or all of the following:

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

YOU’RE RUINING MY LIFE!

YOU’RE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT!

I HATE YOU!

I didn’t even have the energy to go crack a window and eavesdrop. I still firmly believe that if you’re going to air your dirty laundry in the parking lot in such a histrionic fashion, I don’t feel bad about getting some popcorn and watching the show. Who needs daytime TV??

Apparently, Montel and Sherri were at it overnight, too, which Husband heard but I was spared.

So the neighborhood is going to poop, and all I can do is blog about it. Thank goodness you at least enjoy my little rants. It’s a silver lining after a night of no sleep.

The picture is the lovely and talented Ms. Catherine Tate whom I adore. She had a sketch comedy show including the charater Lauren Cooper, the disrespectful teenager. The clip is from a live show she did while Queen Elizabeth was in the audience and is one of my favorites. “Am I bovvered?”

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