EUREKA! The Writing Spider Solves her Own Problem

Thank you, NPR. I was listening yesterday on the way home from work and you have brought me the solution to my problem. The answer to my prayers. For years I’ve been complaining to everybody who would listen (or read) about Thug Life and finally this intrepid and wily police dean has devised a solution so amazing, so novel, it can’t help but work against the mac-daddy of pests, that denizen of douchebaggery, the house of horrors that is Thug Life.

OMG, y’all.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I offer for your consideration THE EXTERMINATOR.

The Exterminator is a 12,000 pound former armored truck, that is unmanned and rebuilt, complete with video cameras, digital recorders and live streaming video. It will be used as a low-budget way to fight crime. Deputies will park it in front of the “dwellings of troublemakers” — for days at a time, if necessary — to reduce nuisance crimes.

Just so happens I know where nuisance lives! Right next door! This thing was made for the Thug Lifes across the country!

I really wish it looked like this but that’s just me:

Now…if only I lived in St. Clair County, Illinois…



  1. Don’t you love NPR? I must say, andI don’t mean to throw shadows on your dreams, those trucks aren’t exactly discreet. I guess the Feds have to be clear so using footage from them wouldn’t be a violation of someone’s right to privacy. Clearly, if one of these suckers is parked in front of your house, you are being watched.

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