Yesterday afternoon, Husband drew my attention to Asshat Manor, which has been eerily silent and still for a few days. According to a neighbor, the brothers Asshat, Thug Life the Elder and Thug Life the Younger, are preparing for the court date situation. Perhaps you recall a previous Thug Life post wherein an argument escalated when the elder Thug Lifer accused his younger brother of not preparing adequately for his perjury court hearing/testimony/whatever. It sounded like they were conspiring to commit perjury prepare for the appearance, but of course, that’s just probably the truth hearsay.
Anyway, there was a man wandering around Asshat Manor, knocking on the door, peering in the windows. To be sure, Asshat Manor was locked up tight and nary a thug-thumper to be seen. The gentleman, clad in jeans and a jean shirt, finally slid back the window and went right in, jean-butt in the air.
“Should I go over there?”
“It’s probably their father, but that looks a little shady.”
As Husband got shoes on, I watched the dude close the window behind him and then pull down the shade – more shadiness, and not the curtain-variety shade either. Husband knocked on the door. The dude goes, “WHO IS IT?”
(Author intrusion: Who would it be? Is there someone you wouldn’t let in? Did you just climb through the window and then act suspicious when a neighbor called you out on it?)
Husband introduced himself and the dude opened the door. He explained that he was indeed Thug Life Senior, and that he had stopped by to pick up some clothes for the guys before…
“Before their court thing?” Husband supplied helpfully.
It’s time like this that bring to mind the immortal words of that most noble of Thug Lifers, the King Thuggalo himself, 2Pac:
Yeah, constantly runnin from danger ain’t no stranger to cop cars
Gettin arrested and tested wearin a vest and don’t drop my guards
My life is hectic my homies send mail from jail
THUGGALOS in Hell got some horrible stories to tell
I’m catchin cases and still tryin to stack a grip
The IRS is tryin to stress off a THUGGALOS shit
A young THUG never had a prayer to prevail
And all my peers doin years locked up in jail
(I fixed the words a little. Hope you don’t mind.)
(Author intrusion: Ok, srsly, 2Pac, a SAHM with four kids and PTA meetings has a hectic life. YOU don’t. Didn’t. Whatever.)
In conclusion, dear reader, if my nosy neighbor sources are to be believed, Thug Life is hitting the court room this week and their property is to be repossessed by the bank. I’m of two minds, really, and I’m sure you can see my dilemma. Which scenario is better?
1. Thug Life goes to jail, their property is put up for sale, and single middle-aged woman with a cat moves in.
2. Thug Life does not go to jail, daddy bails them out in every way possible, and the reign of Thug Life continues, hence, more blog posts.
You choose which one. I can’t bear it.