I know, I know…we thought Thug Life was getting booted. Obviously…they’re not. Maybe having people “live” there is a better option than trying to sell what is now a wasteland of post-pubescent rage? I use the word “live” lightly because while I’m sure they’re ALIVE, I’m pretty sure that how I live in my house is not even close to how they live in theirs.
I have also decided that Thug Life is afraid of the dark. Or they’re so hopped up on whatever the kids these days get hopped up on that they cannot actually go to sleep. This conclusion has been reached via the following observation: The lights are always. always. ON. 2 am on Tuesday? Lights are on. (If the blinds in the spare room aren’t shut, the light filters in so I can see it.) 5:30 am when I go to the gym? Lights on.
Not like one light either. ALL the windows that face my house are brightly lit. Lights always on = fraid of the dark. Or…it’s easier when the cops raid you?
We have also reasoned that Thug Life has no air conditioning, which, if you know a Kentucky summer, is pretty punishing and maybe just maybe karma IS being a bitch. We think this because while the lights are all on, you can see that the windows are all open and one (the one with the gaping screen that flutters in the breeze) sports a box fan propped in it.
Thug Life’s favorite pasttime this summer is going to be Skateboarding in the Parking Lot at 11 pm. No airconditioning means you get drunk on 40’s and go outside at night to flip doobies or whatever the hell those tricks are called off the retaining wall then richochet off the mail boxes. GOOD TIMES.
Our new property management company has recently instated a Very Strict Towing Policy. Punish people who want their guests to park in a reasonable distance from their front doors. Yes. That’s a GREAT idea. And yet…Thug Life remains ensconced, issuing forth from their broken front door so many hotheaded punks and flimsy bobbleheaded waifs, a veritable clown car of asshats. WHAT is wrong with this picture?
Tune in next time for another solid endorsement for free easily obtained birth control.