Me and Stpehen King…we’re like *this*

     I cannot get into the Twilight series. I read the first 3/4 of the first book and I got a call from the institutions that issued my English BA and my Literature MA telling me that further consumption of such repetitive junior high drivel will result in the revocation of my degree and subsequent public humiliation viz a viz being forced to wear a TEAM EDWARD t-shirt and fake plastic fangs nonstop for a month.

     The thing is, I know a lot of very smart people who read it and love it and want some more of it. I still occasionally blurt, “BUT IT’S SO POORLY WRITTEN!” I know, I’m being a total lit snob.

     The argument becomes, “It gets kids reading.” Sure it does. So do cereal boxes, the captions on video games, and the occasional oddball educational setting. It’s like saying letting them eat Cheetos and Velveeta “gets kids to eat.”

     But now Stephen King has come out and said Stephanie Meyers “can’t write worth a darn.” King is, by all accounts, a Very Important Writer. (I quite like his books though I can’t read them often because they scare the bejeesus out of me, then I spent all day cleaning up the bejeesus.) Being a Very Important Writer means that your opinion is more important than people who are Not Writers or Bad Writers. Ergo, I feel vindicated in my eternal dislike of poorly written matter of all types.

     I’m going to stop commenting on people’s Twilight habits, for the sake of social grace, but I will (silently, to myself, so as not to disturb the Twilight fans) cackle with glee when I think of Stephen King’s condeming remarks.



*This tongue-in-cheek post has been brought to you by the letters V and L and the number 12.


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