I fight my job. Every day, I have to talk myself into going to work. Let me ‘splain.
No, there is to much. Let me sum up.
I lost a job last year when the ad agency I worked for closed. Suddenly. After I’d been there for about two months. I very much enjoy ad agency life because there are a lot of creative people there and its work I love; indeed, my department/job title involved being part of the Creatives department. I spent six long months freelancing my tushie (touche? tooshy?) off and interviewing for another full time job. I got a job with Huge Corporation, Inc. via connections in advertising. You might already know this if you know me.
My frustration and discomfort are no secret to most of my friends. I think my feelings stem largely from the idea that I am truly not cut out for corporate life. For starters, I am not a fan of the clothing restrictions. I don’t like having my Internet usage monitored constantly and not being able to conduct adequate research for the work I do via my work laptop. I am not a ladder-climber of the corporate type and I don’t appreciate the game of Let’s Play Favorites. I hate TPS reports and PowerPoints and the break room that smells of stale coffee and canned beef soup. I hate that my desk is not far enough away from my two neighbors to afford any of us a modicum of privacy. I am happiest when writing and being creative and I don’t get to do that terribly often.
But WritingSpider, do you like the work?
Yes and no. My talents are clearly not being used to their full extent, which frustrates the hell out of me – I despise inefficiency. What it really comes down to is how I can work this company for what I need and want while they work me for their bottom line. My department is getting all kinds of attention for the work we do and I have specific skills that I bring to the table which are had by only one or two other people at the company. If I can keep my sanity and my health benefits long enough to get what I want from them, I’ll be in good shape to do what I really want to do – start my own freelance business full time.
I’m doing things like taking classes and attending development sessions as much as possible. I’m looking for conferences I can go to. I’m doing my job, and I’m doing it well, being a team player but my eye is not on the prize that everyone else is eyeing.
But WritingSpider, why don’t you just go start your business now?
Are you kidding? Have you seen the economy right now? People don’t want to pay for a good writer in a decent economy and I’m not about to go to the mat without a safety net. No thanks! I’m keeping my job, my paycheck and my health benefits for as long as I can. Well, until I have this home freelance business thing all worked out. I can freelance on the side now, and I do sometimes. Which is another perk of the work I do. Work all day at the job that pays the pills and feed the Muse at night with freelance projects and my own literary amusements.
Tomorrow I might write about what I like about this job, so as not to talk myself into not going in ever again.