I’m working on putting together a podcast and since we aren’t allowed to use iTunes or see most blogs/podcasts at work, I brought my laptop home and I’ve got it set up next to my home PC. I worked at home all last summer because I was out of a job and in order to pay the bills, I had to bust a move on some freelance work. I spent a lot of time freaking out about getting enough work. Now that I’ve been in Corporateland for seven months, I miss those days.
Today, I got up, had a cup of tea, watched the news. Didn’t have to worry about a shower since I’m going to work out later. I can listen to Pandora (can’t do that at work with stupid firewalls). I don’t have to hear the women in the next aisle complaining, nobody on my team is charging up and demanding stuff from me. It’s much quiter at home.
As a writer, and thinker, the environment I deal with at work is difficult. I can’t think. I can’t write. When I put my headphones on to concentrate, people think I’m being antisocial.
There are many times at work that I just try to look busy. I hate feeling unproductive and on those slow times, it would be really nice to be able to, say, do a load of laundry or run to the drugstore.
This feeling has been growing for a few weeks. Part of it is my unease with this new job, and part of it, I think, is a realization that I probably don’t belong here. I’m not very happy here and for the first time in my life, it’s the work I like and the rest of it (some of the people, environment, etc.) I don’t. My goal now is to learn all I can at this job then start my own freelance business. I’m going to get moving on a plan here. Figure it out.