#3 – The Best Jobs I Ever Had Tuesday, Nov 3 2009 

Countdown style:

4. Babysitterist: Who hasn’t been a babysitter?? How many nights did someone pay me to watch Nick at Nite and check in on Junior a few times? Do people let twelve-year-olds stay with their kids anymore? Probably not. Want to hire me to babysit? Heck, I’d probably do it for free now.

3. Professional blurbist: I know some of you hated this particular place but it really had its upsides. As an abstract writer for a database company, I loved reading all the weird trade journals (Carny Weekly anyone?). No work to take home with you, no dress code to speak of, a pretty low-key work environment, and flex hours. Nevermind that the place was a breeding ground for neuroses of all kinds.

2. Ice cream scoopist: My first real job with a paycheck was at a local ice creamery that was taken over several years ago by a larger regional ice creamery. The best parts: making weird concoctions on slow nights (butterscotch pineapple milkshake, anyone?), all the ice cream you can eat, and that one year we got a box of chocolates for a Christmas bonus.

1. Nerd camp counselor: Five weeks of dance parties, crappy cafeteria food, making out in the stairwell, talent shows, and teen angst. And that was just us counselors! Seriously, my first year as nerd camp counselor was truly amazing. I’ve never been around a bunch like that: we bonded like super glue on a hardhat stuck to an I-beam. It didn’t make us much money but dang it was worth it.

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Freelance! Thursday, Aug 27 2009 

    I’m not just a writing spider. I’m a freelance writing spider. I have a 9-5 gig with a Giant Corporation at which I hold the title of Peon and this pays the bills, but the dream job is full-time freelance writing. While I’m not there quite yet – can’t quit the day job – I’m thinking about it a lot, and making some moves in that direction.

      Technically speaking, I have been a freelance writer for twelve years. What I’ve done amounts to a mishmash of genres, industries, and products for a menagerie of clients. I daresay that the vast majority of my freelance work sort of floated to me on the free-ether. That is to say, I didn’t ask for it, it found me. After college I went about being a writer all wrong. I was looking in the paper, thinking, “This is where everybody else finds jobs…” And there were a few, to be sure. But I don’t think that’s how you get to be a freelance writer anymore. Also, I spent a lot of time submitting fiction work instead of looking for ways to develop my journalistic and non-fiction tendencies. I’ve had regular consistent freelance gigs that consisted of such glamorous work as newsletters for nurses. True, I did have a local shopping column that I enjoyed writing immensely, and that was pretty sexy. I’m starting to realized however that if I really wanna do this thing called freelance writing I’m going to have to hustle more.

    I put up a website. I made business cards. I…well…that’s it. I did the website and the cards. That’s enough, right?

    No.

    I’m thinking of you newbies out there who want to know how you become a freelance writer. The short answer is, I don’t know because I’m not really there. The long answer is…read along and we’ll figure it out.

    I had to give up the romantic idea of Being a Writer. There are all kinds of people who fit the definition of writer, people who write ad copy, newspaper articles, novels, the brochures for teeth whitening in your dentist’s office. I used to have the same romantic notions. If I tell people, “I’m a writer,” they seem to get this idea that I come home from my 9-5 job and light candles by which I will dip my quill into ink and scrawl for hours on parchment while listening to Bach. This didn’t even apply to me when I was actually doing freelance full time. Mostly I was lucky to put on pants before noon and I certainly wasn’t writing anything exciting. Ghostwriting for home health trade pubs, anyone? I’m an editor, too, but the most important thing I’ve edited was a book. On project management.

     I struggled for years to identify myself as a writer and now that I own that label, I finally let go of those romantic ideas for more practical ones like, “Will this job pay my bills?” I can’t speak for all freelancers, but I suspect they feel mostly the same.

     I do have a secret. It’s the secret to  getting more freelance work than you will via free-ether. My big secret is…you find freelance gigs by asking for them. That’s it. You go ask people if you can write stuff for them. Sometimes they say no. Sometimes they say yes. Sometimes you never hear a word from them. My problem right now is that I’m not asking enough.

     I’ve gotten lazy. I have 500 business cards and about 475 are here on my desk. The other 25 are…either in the bottom of my purse or my mom’s purse. My business cards should be out working for me. Ditto the website. It should be doing more work for me. Having a full time job allows me the freedom/excuse to do whatever I want when I feel like it which is…sometimes. In fact, I bought a second-hand  scanner off craigslist and only now, four months later, do I plug it in to find out it’s not compatible with my XP.  I’m not too worried. I’ll save up, get a better scanner, and put up the rest of my portfolio online. If I was out of work, or had some kids, I’d probably be more motivated.

     Beyond the question of motivation, it’s a question of confidence. Ah, the truth comes out. Maybe I’m not good enough to ask Vanity Fair/Esquire/Real Simple/This American Life to publish my work. Maybe I don’t want to spend time getting rejected unless I have to. Frankly, I’m really hoping that Graydon Carter, David Granger, Kristin Van Ogtrop, or Ira Glass will just email me and say, “I’d like you to do a piece about x. We will pay you ONE MILLION DOLLLLARRRSSS. It’s due in a month.” That’s what I’m really hoping for.

Stickin it to the Man Sunday, Dec 14 2008 

     I fight my job. Every day, I have to talk myself into going to work. Let me ’splain.

    No, there is to much. Let me sum up.

    I lost a job last year when the ad agency I worked for closed. Suddenly. After I’d been there for about two months. I very much enjoy ad agency life because there are a lot of creative people there and its work I love; indeed, my department/job title involved being part of the Creatives department. I spent six long months freelancing my tushie (touche? tooshy?) off and interviewing for another full time job. I got a job with Huge Corporation, Inc. via connections in advertising. You might already know this if you know me.

     My frustration and discomfort are no secret to most of my friends. I think my feelings stem largely from the idea that I am truly not cut out for corporate life. For starters, I am not a fan of the clothing restrictions. I don’t like having my Internet usage monitored constantly and not being able to conduct adequate research for the work I do via my work laptop. I am not a ladder-climber of the corporate type and I don’t appreciate the game of Let’s Play Favorites. I hate TPS reports and PowerPoints and the break room that smells of stale coffee and canned beef soup. I hate that my desk is not far enough away from my two neighbors to afford any of us a modicum of privacy. I am  happiest when writing and being creative and I don’t get to do that terribly often.

     But WritingSpider, do you like the work?

    Yes and no. My talents are clearly not being used to their full extent, which frustrates the hell out of me – I despise inefficiency.  What it really comes down to is how I can work this company for what I need and want while they work me for their bottom line. My department is getting all kinds of attention for the work we do and I have specific skills that I bring to the table which are had by only one or two other people at the company. If I can keep my sanity and my health benefits long enough to get what I want from them, I’ll be in good shape to do what I really want to do – start my own freelance business full time.

     I’m doing things like taking classes and attending development sessions as much as possible. I’m looking for conferences I can go to. I’m doing my job, and I’m doing it well, being a team player but my eye is not on the prize that everyone else is eyeing.

    But WritingSpider, why don’t you just go start your business now?

     Are you kidding? Have you seen the economy right now? People don’t want to pay for a good writer in a decent economy and I’m not about to go to the mat without a safety net. No thanks! I’m keeping my job, my paycheck and my health benefits for as long as I can. Well, until I have this home freelance business thing all worked out. I can freelance on the side now, and I do sometimes. Which is another perk of the work I do. Work all day at the job that pays the pills and feed the Muse at night with freelance projects and my own literary amusements.

    Tomorrow I might write about what I like about this job, so as not to talk myself into not going in ever again.

Job Pt. II Sunday, Jun 8 2008 

I’ve re-read my post about my job and…I think I was operating under the influence of…hormones. Seriously. Full moon, whacked out hormones, not enough sleep, too much caffeine. It was a little melodramatic, and also inspired by some little snubs at work that week that had me feeling really isolated. I like the work I’m doing and I like a lot more about the job than I was thinking of at that moment. I’m letting that post stay because it’s part of my writing, part of what was going on that day, and an example of what writing on hormones can produce. Melodramatic fluff.

Just had to say that.

I forgot….I have a little blog. Sunday, Jan 27 2008 

    So I’ve been slogging away in Corporate Land and I have mixed feelings about it. I’ve never been a ‘my job is my life is me’ kind of person. I like working and feeling like I have a purpose and a schedule every day. But I like to leave my job at work and do other things at home.
     I started making these ridiculous collages a couple months ago and it’s been tons of fun to sit there and cut out paper, then mod podge it to a canvas. And I wish I could stay home and write and make collages all day, instead of putting on pantyhose to go to this corporate job.
    But that might have something to do with the fact that I’ve just changed ‘teams’ and I’m not convinced I like this idea, not one bit. I came to work at this company because I like the guy who was going to be my boss and I liked the proects he was working on. I will continue to work here, but I’m not as happy about going to work anymore.
     I will try to post more often.