NaBloPoMoFoSchmo #16-17 Hello, Captain Random Wednesday, Nov 18 2009

I joined a local freelance writers meetup group. It’s through Yahoo Groups and there are lots of different meetups. The point for this group is to meet other freelancers, network, share ideas, etc. So far, we’ve met three times. The first time involved me, the organizer and her boyfriend, and a massage therapist. Apparently, the massage therapist just likes to go to ALL the meetups, whether or not he participated in the given meetup activity. I can only imagine when he goes to the Diannic Wiccan Meetup…

Last month it was just me and the organizer who, incidentally, invited me to join a fiction writers group which has met twice and is really fun.

This month, the organizer called in sickly and asked me to take over. So I was the substitute meeting coordinator. That meant I had a to make a little sign MEETUP LOUISVILLE FREELANCE WRITERS. There were four people who RSVP’d yes and I was the only one who showed. That doesn’t mean I was alone.

We meet in a coffee shop/bar/cafe which is really lovely except that it is generally overrun with law students armed with lattes and laptops.  Tonight, I had to sit at the bar. I dutifully propped up my signage and before I settled in to read next week’s critique piece for my fiction group, headed to the loo, leaving the sign and my jacket in case anyone should happen upon it.

I got back from the loo, eager to dive into the story and the guy next to me, a dead ringer for Matt Frewer of Max Headroom fame (SEE: 1980s Pepsi ad).

“Are you guys writers?”

Well, I can only speak for myself as I am only one person….

“Because I’m a writer. I mean, I write comedy. I write blogs. I’m an accountant but I write a lot too.”

And it was this awkward exchange and the sheer lack of seating that held me a rather unwilling captive for the next hour.

He asked me what I write. He asked me what I read then insulted me for not being well-read enough to read Anne Rice. He complimented my youthful looks and asked where I work out. We had a terribly stilted conversation about writing and he spent many minutes being TOTALLY STUNNED that I have been writing since about the fourth grade. He tried to give me tips on getting more business for myself. He asked lots of questions about my Day Job for a Large Insurance Company because he has LOTS of OPINIONS about INSURANCE.

I don’t mean to be unkind, Reader. And I don’t think he meant to be strange. People like that seldom do.

This sort of thing used to happen to me all the time – random folks would bend my ear for a tick or two, divulging embarrassing details of their lives or just blathering on about nothing. I think it used to be a result of my availability. I’m married now – I put out a different vibe.

The funniest thing was the guy sitting on the other side of my New Best Friend. I think he was a teacher grading papers and munching what looked like a delicious cheese plate. I caught him glancing our way to confirm or deny for himself such details as my youthful looks. He stifled a snicker at my SERIOUS aversion to the Twilight series of drivel books.

After an hour, I excused myself, sighing that nobody was able to make the Meetup and I’ve had a long day. Then I came home and wrote this post.

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Freelance! Thursday, Aug 27 2009

    I’m not just a writing spider. I’m a freelance writing spider. I have a 9-5 gig with a Giant Corporation at which I hold the title of Peon and this pays the bills, but the dream job is full-time freelance writing. While I’m not there quite yet – can’t quit the day job – I’m thinking about it a lot, and making some moves in that direction.

      Technically speaking, I have been a freelance writer for twelve years. What I’ve done amounts to a mishmash of genres, industries, and products for a menagerie of clients. I daresay that the vast majority of my freelance work sort of floated to me on the free-ether. That is to say, I didn’t ask for it, it found me. After college I went about being a writer all wrong. I was looking in the paper, thinking, “This is where everybody else finds jobs…” And there were a few, to be sure. But I don’t think that’s how you get to be a freelance writer anymore. Also, I spent a lot of time submitting fiction work instead of looking for ways to develop my journalistic and non-fiction tendencies. I’ve had regular consistent freelance gigs that consisted of such glamorous work as newsletters for nurses. True, I did have a local shopping column that I enjoyed writing immensely, and that was pretty sexy. I’m starting to realized however that if I really wanna do this thing called freelance writing I’m going to have to hustle more.

    I put up a website. I made business cards. I…well…that’s it. I did the website and the cards. That’s enough, right?

    No.

    I’m thinking of you newbies out there who want to know how you become a freelance writer. The short answer is, I don’t know because I’m not really there. The long answer is…read along and we’ll figure it out.

    I had to give up the romantic idea of Being a Writer. There are all kinds of people who fit the definition of writer, people who write ad copy, newspaper articles, novels, the brochures for teeth whitening in your dentist’s office. I used to have the same romantic notions. If I tell people, “I’m a writer,” they seem to get this idea that I come home from my 9-5 job and light candles by which I will dip my quill into ink and scrawl for hours on parchment while listening to Bach. This didn’t even apply to me when I was actually doing freelance full time. Mostly I was lucky to put on pants before noon and I certainly wasn’t writing anything exciting. Ghostwriting for home health trade pubs, anyone? I’m an editor, too, but the most important thing I’ve edited was a book. On project management.

     I struggled for years to identify myself as a writer and now that I own that label, I finally let go of those romantic ideas for more practical ones like, “Will this job pay my bills?” I can’t speak for all freelancers, but I suspect they feel mostly the same.

     I do have a secret. It’s the secret to  getting more freelance work than you will via free-ether. My big secret is…you find freelance gigs by asking for them. That’s it. You go ask people if you can write stuff for them. Sometimes they say no. Sometimes they say yes. Sometimes you never hear a word from them. My problem right now is that I’m not asking enough.

     I’ve gotten lazy. I have 500 business cards and about 475 are here on my desk. The other 25 are…either in the bottom of my purse or my mom’s purse. My business cards should be out working for me. Ditto the website. It should be doing more work for me. Having a full time job allows me the freedom/excuse to do whatever I want when I feel like it which is…sometimes. In fact, I bought a second-hand  scanner off craigslist and only now, four months later, do I plug it in to find out it’s not compatible with my XP.  I’m not too worried. I’ll save up, get a better scanner, and put up the rest of my portfolio online. If I was out of work, or had some kids, I’d probably be more motivated.

     Beyond the question of motivation, it’s a question of confidence. Ah, the truth comes out. Maybe I’m not good enough to ask Vanity Fair/Esquire/Real Simple/This American Life to publish my work. Maybe I don’t want to spend time getting rejected unless I have to. Frankly, I’m really hoping that Graydon Carter, David Granger, Kristin Van Ogtrop, or Ira Glass will just email me and say, “I’d like you to do a piece about x. We will pay you ONE MILLION DOLLLLARRRSSS. It’s due in a month.” That’s what I’m really hoping for.

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She Works Hard for the Money Sunday, May 17 2009

    I’ve been thinking all day about this thing that happened. I recount this story to you here for reasons about to be illuminated: 1. For those of you who are also writers who may be able to commiserate or add your thoughts, 2. for those of you who are not writers who need to understand what the Writing Life is really like, and 3. because the whole thing kind of pissed me off and I need to get it off my writerly chest.

     As you may know, I have recently started broadening the Writing Spider’s writing web by building and launching a professional freelance website. I have decided, for better or for worse, to accept that I’ve been called by God, the Universe, and Everything to be a writer and that means accepting what comes with that – we writers have to hustle to earn our daily bread but we also have to take a good hard look at such things as what our time is worth, what our services are worth, and so on. I have been pretty happy with the website so far, and continue to build and fortify my online presence so that one day I can live in my freelance web full time.

     One of the things I have been doing is getting the word out that I do what I do – hence the website – but I’ve also obtained some shiny business cards and I find ways to work my biz into conversations.  I’m marekting myself in as many free and creative ways as possible. One of those ways I do this is to post myself on a certain site that is LIKE craigslist.com (but it isn’t). This site is a local classified ad type site and once a week, they allow you to post services you offer. This is the time for your in-home childcare or lawn service to be promoted. Once in a while (READ: when I remember) I post my freelance writing services on this site.

    So far, the response has been dismal, but it has opened my eyes to what people think I mean when I say I AM A PROFESSIONAL WRITER.

    Let me ’splain.

    The first time I posted, a woman called me, and after a few minutes on the phone it was clear she was interested in not only someone to write her college papers for her, but to write her college papers for her very cheaply. I finally said, “I don’t think I’m the service you need, but please keep my information on hand if you ever need it.”

    I posted again this week on the site and got an email from Danny.* Danny asked in his first email if I “do resumes.” Well, sure I can write your resume. I’ve written resumes for myself and others that have landed actual paying jobs, so why the heck not? We went back and forth over email for about a week – I couldn’t pin him down about what he needed.  He finally said he needed someone to “type the resume in the correct format, and give me a paper copy and a copy on a disc I will provide. I don’t need proofreading.” I fiddled around with this for a day and emailed back.  I said, “For $35 I will type your resume and give you a paper, disc and electronic copy. I’ll throw in proofing as I go.”

    Before you blanch at $35 (as Danny did) let me show you my thought process. It would have taken me AT LEAST one hour to type up whatever he had, plus the accompanying emails and then mailing the stupid paper copy to him (go to post office, obtain postage, affix postage, etc etc). When one factors in what I have to pay in taxes, my home office usage, and other items, you will discover that I should easily be charging an hourly rate of $65 right off the bat. My time and my expertise are worth every bit of that.

    Danny’s response:

     “Like that you are striking out to establish a business! I wish you well. I need typing I can get free from a neighbor. I have plenty of discs to provide. Come in around $10.00 and the copy will be in no need of proofing. You would save me a bit of time, but you need to realize  that your audience’s aren’t all inept. I can pull up an e-mail and accomplish what I need. I just can’t type! If I find someone needing your services, I’ll gladly refer them. I learned the hard way with my own business for 17+ years.”

    My first response, Dear Reader, was indignation! Effrontery! When reading it aloud to Husband, I was even more affronted! He wanted to pay me ten bucks to type his crappy resume.

    Off the top of my head,

Dear Danny,

    1.  If you can get this service free from your neighbor…why did you waste my time with this? Does your pro bono neighbor know you would have paid $10?

    2. Do you ask ALL professionals to accept ridiculously low payments for their services? Do you inquire about a 90% discount at the dentist? Restaurants? Do you say, “Hi, pathologist. What can I get for $80?”

    3. If you plan on doing your own proofreading…good luck. There’s at least one glaring typo in your email. (And MAN DID I WANT TO WRITE BACK AND POINT THAT OUT TO YOU.)

    4. What exactly did you learn the hard way in your 17 years of small business ownership?  That people writing you passive aggressive emails deserve your services at a guilty discount?

     5. You seem proficient enough to type out this stupid email to me. I cannot see why you couldn’t type out your own typo-ridden resume and copy it onto one of your zillions of discs.

    People do not want to pay other people to write. Or edit. Or proofread. We are not taught that there is an art to writing. People think, in general, that any idiot can write.*** The truth is that like having kids, any idiot CAN do it, but it takes a special person to do it well. Again, I think of other professional services we pay for. I brush my own teeth, but I pay my dentist to do the heavy duty cleaning. You write your own name, but you leave the heavy lifting to a professional writer. Because being a freelance writer isn’t like being a doctor or an accountant, the payment issue is different. This all reminds me of the response teachers get – people think teaching is sooo easy because “you get off at 3 every day and you get summers and holidays off!” NO NO NO NO!!!

    I continue to think about this and I keep coming back to, “I’m worth more than ten dollars.”

    So neener neener Danny. Sorry you won’t get that job you so highly covet.

 

*Names have been changed to protect the clueless.

** I’ve been freelancing now for about ten years. I have a BA and and MA. If I can say ONE THING about myself it is that I am not only really good at grammar and spelling, I’m a good writer. As I have mentioned, I am A PROFESSIONAL WRITER.

***If you’ve read Stephanie Meyer’s work, you might have a solid leg to stand on here…

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