So Many Books…Only Two Eyes Saturday, Dec 20 2008 

     Most of my friends have a stack of books somewhere, unread, full of interesting things, waiting to be cracked. I am notorious for this now that I have discovered a half price bookstore mere minutes from my home. Everything’s half off! Or used! Why not spend $15 and get five books?

     The problem is…I read kind of slowly. Well, comparitively slowly. Husband is a superspeed reader with a crazy photographic memory. I get distracted – with the use of language, with imagining some subplot, with weather the cover art was really appropriate. But I am a confirmed bookworm, word nerd, reader and bibliophile.

     What’s on my bookshelf right now? Let’s see…

     I’m 1/8 of the way through David Foster Wallace’s The Broom of the System

     The Best American Non-Required Reading of 2008, a recent gift from Husband and one of my fave series

     Garlic and Sapphires, by Ruth Reichl, because she’s been recommended to me and also I like food writing

     Little Flowers of Francis of Assisi, a collection of tales from the life of St. Francis of Assisi

     Interworld, by (cue angel choir) Neil Gaiman because it was $5 in hardback and I’ve never read it

     Postcards from the Edge, by Carrie Fisher – this was a $1 and I’ve never read her before

    Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, by Barbara Kingsolver, which I haven’t read because I read Omnivore’s Dilemma and needed some time to digest it (no pun intended)

     The Four Agreements, recommended by my sister

     The last couple Dresden Files books are floating around here, having been devoured by Husband already

         That’s a big stack. Better get to it.

Just when you thought it was safe to go to work… Wednesday, Dec 17 2008 

     Remember, you three faithful readers, when I said I was going to remind myself of what I like about my job and I was sort of trying to be nice about the fact that I work with a bunch of catty bitches? Remember that? (See: last post) Well…Monday turned out to be such a thrill I haven’t been able to sit down and share it with you here.

     Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

     I start thinking about Monday morning at 4 pm Sunday afternoon. It looms like a guillotine blade. This last Monday morning it was raining, traffic was a disaster, and I was running late. I worked from home Friday afternoon and was toting a laptop and assorted sundry items – umbrella, purse, lunch bag, coat, self.  Keep in mind, it’s a 1/2 mile walk from my parking space to the building.

     Just as I set my things down on my desk at 9:20 am my manager swoops in and invites me for a personal chat. SHe’s visibly rattled. In an empty conference room, she proceeds to tell me that “some members of my team” had been wondering where I was. Had been angrily and shrilly suggesting that unexplained tardiness is grounds for termination. Had been fretting loudly that I would probably miss my ten o’clock meeting with one team member – let’s call her Princess – and Princess would have to reschedule another meeting. Had been repeatedly condemning me and my tardiness. Oh and Princess can’t see my on-line calendar which is just beyond the pale in terms of Things That Shouldn’t Happen to Princess…EVER.

    Manager seems irritated at Princess and the other complainer – let’s call her Unhinged – and recalls that they have nary a leg to stand on when complaining about other people’s lateness. Both Princess and Unhinged are regularly in after 9:30 am and leaves before 5 pm. I am thinking, as Manager speaks, that I am very sorry I was 20 minutes late. I apologize, promise to call in the future should I anticipate tardiness of any kind.

     I am not usually late. I turn my work in on time. I make all my meetings. I do my work well. Boss says that if you’re going to be later than 10 am, you should call and let someone know.

     For the rest of the morning, both Princess and Unhinged are perfectly nice to me. I am in fact, not late for the meeting with Princess, and her performance at said meeting was typical of her meeting behavior – bossy, uninformed, and rude.  Since Manager seems to feel their behavior was uncalled for and that I am not in trouble here, I am having no trouble playing nice. The knives sticking out of my back don’t even hurt. This is surprising to everyone else who witnessed the tantrums. Three observers, two of whom stood up for me, by all accounts, continued to voice their disbelief in the behaviors. They tell me it was ugly, unprofessional, stupid, and out of control. I’m told that Boss knows about the tantrums, not because one of the team members informed her, but because someone else on our floor was distracted and complained about the ruckus Princess and Unhinged were making.

      I’ve been documenting everything of late. I write down when Princess comes in to work. I note that she spends hours shopping on-line, looking at her profile on dating sites, and talking with her mother on her work phone. And I noted that last week, Princess took a two hour lunch and was 45 minutes late for a meeting with me.

     I have to remind myself what’s going on here. This is a scary time for people with jobs and we’re all afraid of the state of the economy and what it means for us personally. Combine that with women who are not only out for themselves to get ahead, but who have no problem throwing you under the bus when its convenient. I’m not a bit surprised about this little flare-up. It was only a matter of time, really. It takes a lot of energy, however, to look to the future while you’re constantly watching your back.

     Stay tuned. I”m sure there’s more to come.

Stickin it to the Man Sunday, Dec 14 2008 

     I fight my job. Every day, I have to talk myself into going to work. Let me ’splain.

    No, there is to much. Let me sum up.

    I lost a job last year when the ad agency I worked for closed. Suddenly. After I’d been there for about two months. I very much enjoy ad agency life because there are a lot of creative people there and its work I love; indeed, my department/job title involved being part of the Creatives department. I spent six long months freelancing my tushie (touche? tooshy?) off and interviewing for another full time job. I got a job with Huge Corporation, Inc. via connections in advertising. You might already know this if you know me.

     My frustration and discomfort are no secret to most of my friends. I think my feelings stem largely from the idea that I am truly not cut out for corporate life. For starters, I am not a fan of the clothing restrictions. I don’t like having my Internet usage monitored constantly and not being able to conduct adequate research for the work I do via my work laptop. I am not a ladder-climber of the corporate type and I don’t appreciate the game of Let’s Play Favorites. I hate TPS reports and PowerPoints and the break room that smells of stale coffee and canned beef soup. I hate that my desk is not far enough away from my two neighbors to afford any of us a modicum of privacy. I am  happiest when writing and being creative and I don’t get to do that terribly often.

     But WritingSpider, do you like the work?

    Yes and no. My talents are clearly not being used to their full extent, which frustrates the hell out of me – I despise inefficiency.  What it really comes down to is how I can work this company for what I need and want while they work me for their bottom line. My department is getting all kinds of attention for the work we do and I have specific skills that I bring to the table which are had by only one or two other people at the company. If I can keep my sanity and my health benefits long enough to get what I want from them, I’ll be in good shape to do what I really want to do – start my own freelance business full time.

     I’m doing things like taking classes and attending development sessions as much as possible. I’m looking for conferences I can go to. I’m doing my job, and I’m doing it well, being a team player but my eye is not on the prize that everyone else is eyeing.

    But WritingSpider, why don’t you just go start your business now?

     Are you kidding? Have you seen the economy right now? People don’t want to pay for a good writer in a decent economy and I’m not about to go to the mat without a safety net. No thanks! I’m keeping my job, my paycheck and my health benefits for as long as I can. Well, until I have this home freelance business thing all worked out. I can freelance on the side now, and I do sometimes. Which is another perk of the work I do. Work all day at the job that pays the pills and feed the Muse at night with freelance projects and my own literary amusements.

    Tomorrow I might write about what I like about this job, so as not to talk myself into not going in ever again.

Stories and Being sick Wednesday, Dec 3 2008 

   TA DA!

   Two whole short short stories in the can. It’s ‘in the can’ if it’s a movie but what if it’s a story? On the hard drive? In the envelope? Hot off the printer? Well, whatever. I’ve started another one, which means that if I finish it by the end of the year, I will have very nearly completed my last year’s goal of five short stories. BOO YAH.

    In reading news, I’ve nearly finished Northanger Abbey which I was supposed to have read in college over spring break but…didn’t. It’s actually quite charming. I love Jane Austen and have found her accent creeping into my emails of late. Ask my friend R – we had a whole Austenian exchange today. Charming!

    I’ve been sick the last few days with some kind of head coldy thing that mostly renders me achy and whiny enough to stay home but not deathbed sick. Am I the only one who sort of freaks out asking for sick days at work? I mean, I feel guilty because I’m staying home when I’m not deathbed sick and I have this whole moral conundrum at 7 am which is when, if I am going to work, would  be time to get breakfast then shower. But if I’m not then it’s time for tea and cozies on the couch.

     The problem with being sick as a grown up is that, unless someone can magically attend to your every whim and need, you have to be sick sort of on your own. When Husband is home and I’m sick he does lovely things like refill my ginger ale and heat up my corn pillow.* But Husband has a job to go to, so while he’s gone, I have to make my own chicken soup and heat up my own corn pillow. (See how whiny this illness has made me!) But I am always very glad when he comes home because I’m just sick enough that staying home is zero fun and kind of lonely. Even the ferrets desert me for their hammocks.

    I have managed to watch 3 Harry Potter movies, plus Stardust, Mighty Wind, and The Brothers Grimm. And I think I’ll go watch something else right now.

*The corn pillow: a flannel pillow full of feed corn that one heats in the microwave for 3 minutes then applies its heated corny goodness to wherever you need it. This week, it goes on my head or around my neck.