Thanksgiving Abroad Thursday, Nov 27 2008 

    Today is Thanksgiving in the US, the day where people gather to stuff themselves into catatonia and watch American football on Japanese televisions. Today’s topic: Thanksgiving abroad.

     In college, I was lucky enough to do a semester abroad my senior year. I went to London for about four months. As a side note, beyond my usual two week panic attack, I felt so at home in that city I seriously considered moving there. But that’s a story for another day. Since I was there over my school’s fall semester, I spent Thanksgiving in London with the rest of the group and our professor.

     In the days leading up to Thanksgiving, I was a little sad about missing my family’s traditions – dinner at my cousin’s home and some serious eating. My family does not mess around with food. Go gourmet or go home. I felt bad about leaving my little sister to eat at the kids’ table without me. I didn’t know what Thanksgiving would be like half a world away. Well, more like a quarter of a world away. I didn’t know if England really noticed the last Thursday of November the way Americans do.

     We were invited to our professor’s wee adorable flat for what was billed as a ‘traditional Thanksgiving dinner.’ At the appointed time we all arrived. I remember wearing this long black skirt with flowers on it that I had gotten at one of the little shops I’d visited. Our professor had ordered a turkey with all the accompaniments from Harrods and it sat golden and shining on the coffee table when we walked in.

     The entire two months I’d been in England had proved that what my guidebook had said was true: The reason the British Empire spread so far and wide was because they were in search of a good meal. The commissary at school served beautiful food…without the taste. I maintained that the English oven was designed to impart heat and extract flavor. Stuff looked great but didn’t have a taste to match, unless we’re talking about the ethnic restaurants which are just gastronomically mind-blowing.

    My theory held up with our Thanksgiving feast. How kind of our professor to re-created in some way our experiences from home when we were so far from it. But the turkey, browned to a perfect crisp, was utterly without flavor, as were the carrots and…oh, it was wonderful anyway to be trying something new on a holiday that is mostly the same thing every year.

    That morning, the DJ on the radio station I listened to at school wished all the American listeners a happy Thanksgiving which was honestly quite touching. I don’t think Americans wish the English any particular holiday – Happy Guy Fawkes?

      By the time we were celebrating Thanksgiving, Princess Diana had been gone for almost three months and we had gone to the funeral, standing outside Buckingham and watching the flag-draped coffin go by. Historic and heartbreaking. We had much to be thankful for on that Thanksgiving day - for being able to come to England at all, for our health and well-being, for all the people across the pond who loved us, for our school who afforded us the chance to study abroad.

     That remains the only major holiday I have missed with my family and it was worth it to have that experience. Since then I’ve acquired much more to be thankful for, but I like to remember my holiday abroad.

The Story Update Wednesday, Nov 26 2008 

     One whole short short story has been written! And…(drum roll)….a second one has begun! The second one is a seasonally themed bit, and I’m actually not sure if it’s as funny in real life as it is in my head. Like, I think it’s funny and clever but…will you? While I think about that a lot, I also think about the fact that I’m actually writing something, even if I never find a home for it outside of my hard drive. I don’t think the seasonal one  will have a home until next year when I can shop it around for Christmas publication.

     I think I might’ve found a groove, mixing life and work and writing. Sometimes I get up at 5:45 and write until 7, then get ready for work. Other times, I get up at 5:30 and go to the gym then write at night. At work, I keep jotting down little ideas for stories so that when I sit down to write, I automatically have fodder for the Muse.

     Neil Gaiman was asked how he finds ideas for stories and his reply was something like, “Look for them.” I’ve found this such a simple way to find story ideas. I know, I know, ‘Duh you idiot.’ But it helps as sort of a mantra – just look for ideas. just look for ideas. just look. For example, yesterday CNN ran a story about a piano found in the woods at the edge of a road. It was mysterious! Not the piano, the fact that it was perched in the middle of nowhere. AND it was in tune.  Bingo. That’s going to be a story for me some day so I wrote it in my Handy Dandy Notebook.

     I continue to have no answers about writing, but I have some clues.

The Writing Spider Writes a Story Wednesday, Nov 19 2008 

     Bit of a pat on the back today. I finished a story. It’s still a wee story, just a short short story at two pages, but it’s a story nonetheless. It’s been through my beta reader and has feedback which I am going to tackle today. Then I will put it in a drawer for a week or so, pull it out and re-evaluate.

     A word on beta readers. If you don’t have a writers’ group – more on that in a second – you need someone who will look at the stuff you wrote and tell you things about it. It needs to be a truthful evaluation but not an ego trip, and I think the reader should have some credentials – they should be writers or readers or both.

    On writing groups. I have taken a step to find some people who write things who would like me to read their things and in turn read mine. I’m hoping to get things going in January or February.

    Speaking of January and writing…my New Year’s List of Thiings to Do THis Year included writing 5 short stories by the end of the year. I have written two and a half and three chapters of a novel as of right now. I think I’m giving myself credit for the whole thing.

I’m late! I’m late! For a very important date! Tuesday, Nov 11 2008 

No time to say hello good-bye I’m late!

     I feel like this a lot, like Alice’s White Rabbit with his huge ticking pocket watch forever running to the Queen’s croquet match. I’m not talking about being late for work because I am often late-ish. Because I don’t really like my job my passive aggressive defense is to be a little later than other people. I get everything turned in on time, I get to all my meetings, but…late-r.

     When I look at what I do all day compared to what I want to happen in my day, I panic. My day is equal parts day job and sleep (there goes 16 hours), hygiene (two, including trips to the loo), eating (2 hours), travel to and from work (1 hour), entertainment/writing/exercise/friends/Husband time (five hours).  

     Come to think of it, if the day job went away, I’d be fine, because I want that 8 hours for writing of any kind. Damn you day job and your siren song of health benefits and a steady paycheck, lest I be dashed against the cliffs of the bad economy!

     I feel like I’m running out of time to do stuff I want to do. Like write a lot and go places and do stuff. I can’t even think of what it is I want to do! That’s how restless and unfocused I can be.

     I get home from work and if I’m lucky I have a couple of hours to do as I please. Here’s about what happens:

    I tell Husband “I’m going to be a writer now” which is code for “leave me alone and close the doors because I can hear you talking to your internet friends in that game with the purple trees where you look like an elf.”

     I sit down.

    I open WordPress.

    I open the story I’m working on.

    I write some on both, or one, then erase and look at Facebook.

    I think I should read some Neil Gaiman.

    I realize I have a ton of books to read including a new Neil Gaiman and a bunch more that I bet would help me write now if I had only read them. Maybe I should read them now, but I can’t read four books at once, so I end up cruising through a few pages of each.

   I look at Neil Gaiman’s blog.

    I write a page or so in the story, think it’s crap, eat some cookies, and go read Jane Austen in bed.

    I need to hire a hit man to knock off my internal editor and a personal trainer for writing.

The Madness Within Saturday, Nov 8 2008 

     Take a big pot. Throw in the shorter darker days of November. Toss some restlessness, hormone fluctuations, and an overactive imagination. Sprinkle liberally with moodiness and finish off with a touch of job hatred. Heat to simmer.

     This morning I have just woken up from a bad dream, my head throbbing and nearly in tears. Of course the best thing for what ails you is a cup of very hot tea and a look at the internets. I still can’t shake this little twinge of disorientation from the dream, and what I think is going on is all of the above. I’m what my dad might call ‘pixelated’ and my mom might call ‘out of sorts.’ Indeed, I am feeling quite out of sorts.

     I watched Constantinelast night. I love that movie. I love how it mixes up religion and the supernatural and human madness, but I cover my eyes in the flashback when teenaged John gets a little jolt the the brain in the EST scene. As a kid, I had a weird fascination with what today we call mental health and EST terrified me. It still does. I come from a long line of mental weirdness.

     I’ve also been working on this story that is turning out to be something completely other than what I thought it was going to be. Last night I revised the whole thing, chopping and moving things around. I’m not done with it, not even a draft, but I think the direction I’m going with it is much better. It’s more interesting than the wishy-washy bits I had before. Though, it makes it all the more difficult to write because I’ve just complicated the whole thing. Stay tuned for more updates on the story. And my ongoing pixelation.

Writing Update Tuesday, Nov 4 2008 

     The Writing Spider hasn’t written much of late, has she?

     I have been sickish/busy/burned out from my job/apathetic/finishing reading a great book mostly the last few weeks. I started to write a post about my 10 year college reunion a few weeks ago and I still have the draft rolling around. Plus I started work on a new short story and I’m kind of at the point where it’s getting difficult.

     I am a character-driven writer. I love coming up with cool people to spend time with in the world of the story. This may be why I enjoy creative nonfiction so much but that’s another post entirely. So I came up with this character and started writing this piece around that character. Remember your junior high English classes when you had to figure out the structure of a story? Characters, setting, conflict, action, resolution, end. I love the first two but I can do without the rest.  I’m terrible at making up a conflict. I know it doesn’t have to be something huge – Kurt Vonnegut said every character must want something, even if its a glass of water and conflict comes from putting an obstacle in the way of getting the water. Maybe I should write a story where everybody wants a glass of water.

     My point is, I’ve created the characters and the setting and now comes the difficult work of making you care about them at all. This is usually the point at which I just give up but I actually really love the concept of the story and feel that if I can do it well, I will be very happy with it.

     I made a little plan about writing. I am forever making plans and sometimes they work. Part of my plan was to write more. Part was to get proactive on the rest – find a writing group, read more about writing, etc. Incidentally, part of this alleviates the boredom and frustration I often feel at my day job and thus helps to take care of my Day Job Problem.

     I would be a famous writer by now if it wasn’t for my Day Job Problem. Or sleeping. Or television. Bah.

     In another bid to motivate myself, I am continuing to listen to Mur Lafferty’s podcast, I Should Be Writing, and reading any author blogs I can see at work. Another part of the Day Job Problem is that I can’t see blogs because I work for a bunch of Fascists who won’t let you see anything remotely fun. Thank goodness for iPhone, but I digress.

     Neil Gaiman’s website is available to me at work which is a good resource but also makes me feel sort of like if I talked to Neil about writing he would laugh at me for thinking I’m a writer at all. No, he wouldn’t, he’s not that kind of guy, but he’d be able to spot my problem. I’m not writing stuff, finishing stuff, and sending it out. I’m just sticking my toe in the baby pool of writerhood. I used to be doing backflips off the high dive and now I’ve got on the inflated swimmies and a nose clip and a flower patterned swim cap.

     I emailed a professor from grad school who directed my thesis and to whom I am still grateful for going to bat for the creative writers in a school where creative writing is the red-headed stepchild of the English department DESPITE the fact that the school includes on its faculty some of the finest authors in the country and I’m not just saying that.  I asked him if he knew of anybody who was looking for writing group members or a group to join. This is also how I found the Evil Dictator’s writing group, but surely my professor won’t send me astray again?

     On another note, today is election day in the US. Part of why I’ve been so distracted is the massive amounts of political talk I’ve been exposed to the last few weeks. I’m on overload! So I will say that I am going to vote today and I encourage you to do so if you have not already.